Three Simple Things

            My remarks tonight are entitled Three Simple Things and those of you who have been at Chapin will recognize three familiar, but still vitally important, themes.

             There is something in the American psyche that craves quick and easy answers. We yearn for a pill that will enable us to lose weight without dieting or exercise. We depend on magazines to rate colleges, although we know that the formulas used have inherent weaknesses and that colleges can manipulate the data. We have a seemingly insatiable need to declare a winner and a loser in every situation. We just don’t seem to appreciate complexity anymore. As a nation, we are increasingly polarized on important issues and the recent debt ceiling debacle in Washington is a frustrating and upsetting example. Yet, how many of the really significant issues and problems in life have black and white answers?

            There are, of course, no quick and easy answers in education either. A first-rate education is a complex mixture of a multitude of elements, all of which must merge together positively into a coherent whole. Nonetheless, there are three pretty simple things that you can do that are certain to improve your child’s academic achievement and your child’s future.

            Simple Thing #1 – Read aloud to your child for 15 minutes a day. In what is now a classic book, The Read-Aloud Handbook, Jim Trelease makes the compelling case for the substantial impact you can have by reading aloud to your child for 15 minutes each day. How can 15 minutes a day make so much difference? When you consider that “reading is the heart of education,” it begins to make sense. And the research is clear that it all begins with reading. Separate research studies have indicated that:

1. The more you read, the more you know.
2. The more you know, the smarter you grow.
   The smarter you are, the longer you stay in school.
3. The longer you stay in school, the more diplomas you earn and the longer you are employed – thus the more money you earn in a lifetime.
4. The more diplomas you earn, the longer you live.

            Report after report documents that “reading is the ultimate weapon.” “Reading aloud to children improves their reading, writing, speaking, listening skills – and perhaps best of all, their attitudes about reading.” 

            Now I know what you are thinking. My child is in middle school, way too old to read to. 

But Jim Trelease suggests that there are a number of persuasive reasons to continue to read to your middle schooler:

• Most middle school students don’t read enough. Reading to them is a way to entice them to read books. Every time you read to your child it is like a commercial for the pleasure of reading.
• Since children can listen to a level of literacy well above their reading level, you can introduce them to classic novels that will enhance their vocabulary and understanding. 
• Reading to your child can establish a warm, emotional bond.
• Finally, it gives you 15 minutes with your child. In the hustle and bustle of our lives, this is a pretty big deal, one they will remember and appreciate, even if they balk at first.

            So, if you truly want to help your children to improve their academic achievement, forget about the extra worksheets and read aloud to them for 15 minutes a day. It’s simple and it works.

            Simple Thing #2 – Take control of your child’s TV, computer, cell phone and video games.  The numbers tell the distressing story. A 2010 Kaiser Family Foundation study revealed that children ages 8 to 18 spend more than seven and a half hours a day using a smart phone, computer, TV or other electronic device. This is a staggering amount of time when you consider that they spend more time doing this than they do in school every day. The report concludes that “heavy media use is associated with several negatives, including behavior problems and low grades.” Legions of other studies clearly document the unhealthy effects of excessive TV viewing on weight, attention span, reading skills and socialization. Excessive playing of video games has also been linked to higher risks of obesity, increased aggression and more negative social behaviors. I should add, however, that some of our parents who are surgeons have noted that video games do enhance hand-eye coordination which is helpful in microsurgery. Only time will tell about the impact of heavy cell phone use. But with all these devices, we must ask ourselves if this time could not be much better spent in countless other ways. 

So, what can you do?

1. Set limits for the amount of time spent in front of screens – TV, computer and video games. Once you set a limit, stick to it
2. Place your child’s TV and computer in a common family area, not in their rooms. The Kaiser Foundation study found that 7 out of 10 children had a TV in their bedroom. Here’s the problem. If the TV and computer are in your child’s bedroom, you have lost all control. And when your child complains about homework, find out how much time is actually spent on school work and how often it is interrupted with text messages, emails or TV. Contrary to what children often think, multi-tasking leads to less efficient learning and it takes longer to complete tasks. That’s true for all of us as well.
3. Monitor closely what your child watches, types or plays. You may be surprised what you find. Remember that our children are far more computer savvy than most of us. If you’re concerned about what your child is emailing, you might want to consider one of the parental control software programs that are available.

As the new year begins, it is a good time to take back the TV, computer and game stations. It is a relatively simple thing that you can do that will definitely improve your child’s health and academic performance. 

Simple Thing #3 – Make sure your child gets enough sleep. The lack of sleep is “a silent epidemic, mysteriously taking its toll not only on the children, but on their entire families as well.” So writes Mary Sheedy Kurcinka in her book, Sleepless in America: Practical Strategies To Help Your Family Get the Sleep It Deserves.  Some of you may remember that Mary Kurcinka was a CommonGround speaker several years ago. 

As adults, we know all about sleeplessness and its impact on our emotions, social interactions and job performance. However, we may not have considered thoughtfully the effects of lack of sleep on our children. Based on the research, Kurcinka suggests that sleep deprivation impacts our children in four main areas.

Emotions

• Loses it over “little things”
• Easily frustrated – nothing is right
• Becomes more upset by changes in routine or surprises
• Irritable and cranky – difficult to calm
• Experiences stomachaches or headaches
• Easily overwhelmed
• Anxious

The Body

• Clumsy, experiences more accidents, falls and injuries
• Frenzied hyper activity – wild at bed/nap time
• Hits, throws things or yells
• Has to be woken in the morning
• Gets sick more frequently
• Craves carbohydrates or sugar
• Lethargic – can’t do what capable of doing

 Attention, Focus and Performance

• Seeks stimulation – picks on others or pets, especially in late afternoon
• Needs more attention and help to stay on task. ADHD is sometimes just a lack of sleep!
• Has difficulty making decisions
• Doesn’t listen
• Has more difficulty performing at peak level or resists
• Talks excessively
• Forgets things

Social Situations

• Feelings easily hurt
• Has difficulty being patient
• Is bossy and demanding – wants to debate
• Loses it if told “no”
• Difficulty talking things through or solving problems
• Irritated by others – especially late afternoon
• The “tone” that drives you wild creeps into his voice

            Recognize any children with these behaviors? Several years ago, in the leadership class that Mrs. Pasteris and I teach to seventh graders, we realized how sleep deprived most of our students are and what an impact it has on them. When we reviewed the affect of lack of sleep on their emotions, body, attention and social situations, they chuckled, laughed and basically said “that’s me.”

            Now let’s look at the benefits of proper sleep. The research shows the breadth and depth of outcomes that result from getting more sleep:

• Have higher grade averages
• Perform better on reasoning and mathematical skills
• Have higher reading skills
• Have fewer accidents
• Get along better with others
• Focus attention more effectively
• Get sick less frequently
• Experience fewer cavities and less gum disease
• Are less likely to be overweight

             By now, I hope that you get the picture. Our children desperately need their sleep. How much do they need? Kurcinka suggests the following guidelines:

• Preschoolers – 11-12 hours a night
• Ages 5-10 – 10-11 hours a night
• Adolescent – 9.25 hours a night
• Adults – 8.25 hours a night. Wouldn’t it be nice? Unfortunately, adults in this country are increasingly sleep deprived. The number of adults who get 6 or fewer hours of sleep a night has increased steadily over the last 20 years to about 30%, according to the CDC.

            Sleep matters a lot! The evidence is clear, our children need their sleep to perform well as students, children and friends.

            So there you have it. Three pretty simple things that you can do this year to improve your child’s health, well-being and academic performance. Since we all feel that the demands on our time are increasing, it only makes sense to focus on the things that can really make a difference in your child’s life. Read to your child every day, control screen time and make sure your child gets enough sleep. When you think about it, this is pretty good advice for all of us as well.